


Peridot's Phanny Phucking

by rndmnwierd



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: And those things lead to this, F/F, Sometimes things are said in a discord chat, There is smut though, listen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 12:51:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15461763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rndmnwierd/pseuds/rndmnwierd
Summary: A small bit that was inspired by sleep deprivation and the Lapidot Cafe Discord. Peridot wants to try something to spice up their time in the bedroom. Lapis is not amused.





	Peridot's Phanny Phucking

**Author's Note:**

> [ Now with fanart!](http://fleurdelynx.tumblr.com/post/176424432141/peridots-fanny-packbased-on-a-fanfic-i-read-i)

When Peridot had told her that she wanted to try something a little different, Lapis had thought that maybe she meant handcuffs or anal. Anything but this.

“It’s…Green.” Lapis choked out, eyes focused at Peridot’s waist where some fanny pack monstrosity rested, covered in dozens of alien faces. She was vaguely aware of the strap on the stood proudly underneath, but most of her focus was on her girlfriend’s distracting new apparel.

“It’s my intercourse fanny pack.” Peridot explained, unzipping the pouch and pulling it wide to show Lapis the contents, “It holds lubrication and the vibration control and anything else that we deem necessary, all within easy reach.”

“Baby, I love you, but I cannot take you seriously when you’re wearing that.” Lapis deadpanned.

Peridot huffed, “But it’ll be so much more efficient! Can you just give it a try?”

Oh no, now she was giving Lapis puppy dog eyes. How was she supposed to resist that? Lapis sighed, knowing the battle was lost, giving a hum of agreement and watching Peridot beam. If it made her girlfriend happy, she’d try even this out.

“Just lay back and close your eyes, I’ll make you feel good.” Peridot promised, placing a gentle hand on Lapis’s shoulder and pressing until she fell backwards onto their bed. Her lips were immediately on Lapis’s throat and this was no longer a bad idea. She had plenty of practice hitting all of Lapis’s erogenous zones, putting just the right amount of pressure with her teeth to scrape against places that made her shiver and shake.

Lapis couldn’t help the moans and sighs that escaped as Peridot slowly kissed her way lower, body relaxing against the sheets, arousal shooting sparks down her spine. She felt her nipples tighten as a small tongue dragged across her collarbone, down the center of her chest, then inched slowly over her breast.

At the same time that talented tongue flicked across her nipple, two warm fingers brushed against her soaking pussy. Lapis gasped and jerked her hips, desperate for more contact, and was rewarded by Peridot pressing against her more firmly. Those fingers dipped into her wetness, then moved back to spread it against her clit and rub in slow circles. Lapis wasn’t aware of anything beyond the pleasure she was experiencing, reaching up to thread her fingers in Peridot’s hair and hold on tight.

There was a shift and Lapis found something that wasn’t a finger pushing against her entrance. She groaned and spread her legs wider to try and accommodate her girlfriend, the strap on slipping inside with only a little effort. Slowly, Peridot slid deeper, inching the phallus further and further in, hips giving little thrusts to make sure that Lapis could handle the toy. Lapis wrapped her legs tight around her girlfriend’s hips and tried to pull her in faster with the little leverage she had at that angle. 

Once the toy was completely hilted inside, Peridot paused to brace herself, pulled halfway out and then back in with a sharp thrust. Lapis gave a choked off cry, tossing her head back in pleasure as Peridot began a merciless rhythm, flesh slapping together with each motion. In the midst of her haze of pleasure and among the sounds of sex filling the room, a single sound cut through Lapis’s consciousness like an ice pick, it’s inherent strangeness standing out and making her eyes pop open in surprise.

Zzziiiiiip.

Then she was instantly distracted again when the toy inside her began to vibrate violently. Cries renewing in strength, Lapis arched sharply and felt Peridot’s next thrust hit a spot that made her sees stars. 

“Ah! Right there!” Her hands clutched at Peridot’s shoulders, fingers pressing in, blunted nails biting into soft skin. Peridot, always eager to please, shifted up higher onto her knees, the hands on Lapis’s hips pulling her up until her back was arched in such a way that every thrust hit that place.

Lapis could no longer control the sounds that were coming from her mouth; she was getting close and volume was not a concern. As her peak approached and her cries began to reach a crescendo, Lapis looked down between her legs.

A dozen cheerful, glowing, green alien heads stared back up at her.

It was as though a bucket of cold water had been thrown on her or if her parents had just walked through the door. Her orgasm disappeared like a magician on rent day.

“Lapis?” Peridot asked, concerned by the abrupt silence.

Flopping back against the bed, Lapis let a hand rest against her face; she couldn’t decide whether to laugh or cry. On the one hand, that was going to be a really good orgasm, on the other, the situation was honestly ridiculous. She settled for laughter, muffling her chuckles behind her hand.

“I canNOT.” She gasped between giggles, “You need to take that off, right now immediately because I’m postponing boning until you get rid of that stupid fanny pack.”


End file.
